This Modern Love
by Spike Speigel1
Summary: Sara discovers that Grissom and Sofia have had dinner together. She’s ready to move on with her life, but there’s one small problem preventing her from doing so. Grissom. GSR.


Title: This Modern Love

Author: Spike Speigel

E-mail: PG-13

Classification: Grissom/Sara

Disclaimer: As usual, these characters don't belong to me. Just taking them for a joyride.

Spoilers: Everything before and including King Baby.

Summary: Sara discovers that Grissom and Sofia have had dinner together. She's ready to move on with her life, but there's one small problem preventing her from doing so. Grissom.

Status: Finished

* * *

To say this was one of the more peculiar cases the lab ever caught would have been a lie had Grissom not discovered the panic room in the Eiger estate. Well, what was once a panic room since it now served as a nursery. Not for Bruce Eiger's children, but for Eiger himself. To say the thought was disturbing was an understatement. Terrifying, perhaps. But disturbing would be doing the situation an injustice.

Nevertheless, that was a personal thought, and one Sara couldn't afford at the present time since she was on the clock. With one Sofia Curtis no less, examining the personal effects of Bruce Eiger located in said nursery. Sara picked up a pacifier, holding it at an angle as though looking at it differently might shed some insight into its owner's state of mind. Unfortunately for her, it only made her realize that she was holding an oversized pacifier.

"So, why do you think he does it? Did it?"

Sara turned to Sofia, who was intently watching Sara examine the pacifier. "Eiger?"

Sofia nodded, her brow furrowed slightly. "Uh huh. For all intents and purposes, this guy was the equivalent of the boogeyman for a lot of powerful people. So, why fall back into a…dare I say it..."

"Dare, please."

"Linus complex."

"As in Charlie Brown?" Sara's reward was another nod, accompanied by a smirk. "Dunno. Maybe he wasn't loved as a child. Maybe he was loved and felt safest during that period of his life. Maybe he's just missing a few marbles. The only one that can really answer your question is lying in the morgue." Sara swabbed the pacifier before placing it back on the lab table, the swab returning to its box. She quickly labeled the side for the lab tech's reference before moving on to the next pacifier. While it was unlikely that any DNA pertinent to identifying the missing 'nanny' would be present on the pacifiers, they had to be processed nonetheless. "You know, for a guy that was feared, he sure had a lot of these things to suck on. God knows what all that sucking did to his teeth."

"One can only imagine." Sofia let out a small sigh, looking over the table. "How many more do we have left?"

"Thirty-two were recovered in the nursery, and that was swab fifteen I just filed away, which leaves us with…"

"Too many."

Sara smiled, a small laugh escaping her lips. "So, you subscribe to the Sara Sidle school of mathematics as well, I see."

"Yeah, but I call it the Sofia Curtis symposium of sets."

"Mine's so much better than yours it's not even funny." Both CSIs shared a laugh, Sara speaking. "So, how are you doing?" Sofia faintly shook her head, not following. "Ecklie demoting you, I mean. If it was me…"

Sofia finished Sara's sentence. "You'd tell him off, damn the consequences. Right?"

"So, Grissom filled you in on what happened?"

"Conrad, actually."

The surprise was evident in Sara's voice as she spoke. "Ecklie? Why?"

"As an example of the power he now wields in the lab. And as a warning to not cross him for demoting me, I suppose."

"You really think that's the reason?"

Sofia paused for a moment, contemplating the question. She tilted her head to the side, not looking at Sara as she spoke. "Doesn't really matter what I think in the overall scheme of things. This is Ecklie's lab now, and we're merely players. For all intents and purposes, I should be far away from here right about now."

Sara could hear the solemnity in Sofia's voice, leading her to pry. "You were thinking about leaving?" Sofia was in the process of swabbing pacifier number sixteen when she nodded affirmation. "So, what made you change your mind? If you don't mind me asking, that is."

Sofia turned to face Sara, the sincerity evident in Sara's countenance. "No, I don't mind." Sofia's lips curved upward as she continued. "It was actually a who."

"A who?"

"Mm hmm. Grissom. I was ready to hand in my resignation when, out of the blue, he invited me out to dinner."

"Di…dinner?" Sara could feel the lump forming in her throat as she tried to mask any indication that this newfound information was bothering her more than she liked it to. "Really?"

A chuckle emanated from Sofia's lips, shaking her head subtly. "Weirdest thing, really. One moment I'm convinced that this lab's the worst thing for me, and Grissom makes it sound like it's the gravest mistake in the world, leaving this place. I know Grissom has a reputation for being," she hesitated for a moment, looking for the right word, "Detached, but you'd never be able to tell it. We talked for hours. Not just about the lab. But about personal stuff. Did you know that Grissom always wanted to teach?"

Sara shook her head, perhaps more noticeably than she should of. "No, I didn't."

"Yeah. That's part of the reason he took this job. The opportunity to teach those under him while becoming more fluent in the field was a difficult one to pass up."

"Sounds like you two really got to know one another." Sara couldn't tell whether her tone was hostile or wounded at the moment. However, in the grander scheme of things, it really didn't matter all that much to her given the bomb that was just placed in her lap.

"Well, I have a better idea of who the man behind the reputation is all about, if that counts."

Sara nodded, even though she couldn't even comprehend what had just happened. One moment she was swabbing pacifiers with Sofia and then this. Sure, Grissom had practically ignored her when she said that she still had feelings for him, but for him to open up to the woman sitting next to her? She needed to get out of there. She needed to gather her thoughts. She needed to just get out of there. "Hey, I totally forgot but I have somewhere to be right now. You mind finishing these and we'll meet up later to process the other stuff?"

"Um, sure. When's good for you?"

"How about an hour?" An hour? What could she possibly figure out in an hour? "Does that work for you?"

Sofia smiled, a sigh of relief escaping her body. "Definitely. I could certainly use a break from the adult infantile paraphernalia."

Sara laughed, an awkward one at that. "Definitely. Thanks for covering."

"Not a problem. See you later."

"Yeah, later." And with that, Sara left the lab, pacifiers and all, to simply think. To think about a man that she promised wouldn't affect her like this anymore but still did.

* * *

While Grissom could think of other places he'd rather be than having a drink with Catherine and Jim, the list was a short one. To tell the truth, he was rather enjoying his newfound acclimation to the outside world. First dinner with Sofia and now this. If he weren't careful, he might be labeled a barfly. Well, maybe barfly was pushing it, he thought as he spoke.

"So, how did things go with Conrad? Did he start reciting the riot act over the memory card debacle?"

Catherine shook her head, taking a sip from her martini. "Opposite actually. Said it was his job to look out for his CSIs."

"Really?" Brass leaned closer to the table, spinning the glass slowly with his fingers while it remained firmly planted, the condensation from the glass beginning to migrate onto his now damp digits. "Doesn't sound like Ecklie."

Grissom seconded. "I'll have to agree with Jim on this one."

"Look, guys. I was as surprised as you are when Ecklie gave me the equivalent of a slap on the wrist. But, that's exactly what happened. Would I really make something like that up?"

Brass chimed in almost instantly, a wry smile on his face. "I dunno. You do tend to have your way with members of the opposite sex."

"Oh, shut up, Jim. Men are just as guilty of using their physical appearance to have their way with women."

"Is that a fact?" Brass finally brought the drink to his lips, taking a sip before speaking. "Please go on, because I'm apparently using my manly wiles incorrectly." He emphasized his statement by running his free hand over his noticeably balding head, Catherine tilting her head slightly toward him as she smirked. Grissom, on the other hand, remained silent, as he continued to observe the conversation between Catherine and Brass.

"Don't act all innocent with me. You're all, and when I say all, I mean men."

"Thanks for the clarification."

"Don't mention it." Brass nodded, his action more playful than sincere as Catherine continued. "Come on, you mean you've never caught a few glances when you walk onto a scene, what with your finely tailored suits and pristine grooming?"

Brass spoke flippantly. "Did you not catch the hand gesture over my head? It's not grooming. It's simply a follicular deficit on my part." He turned to Grissom, who answered with a thoughtful frown.

"Oh please. You know you dress the way you do to get attention from the hotties."

Grissom finally chimed in, his tone probing. "Hotties?"

Catherine turned to Grissom, trying to decide whether he was being serious or not. However, since it occurred to her that it was Grissom that had asked the question, obviously he was being serious. "Remember that tush comment you made earlier?"

"Of course."

"Well, that comment would place me in the category of hottie."

Grissom began to stroke his chin, an eyebrow raised to Catherine. "So, Jim's been clothing himself in designer suits to get your attention?"

Brass and Catherine exchanged a glance that lasted a moment longer than it should have before looking back to Grissom. Catherine sighed, trying to collect her thoughts. "You really don't know what I'm talking about, do you?"

Grissom answered honestly. "Not a clue. But, please. Go on. I'm finding the conversation rather stimulating."

Brass let loose a deep chuckle as he took another sip. "You see, that's why I like you Gil. You're so focused on the job that the thought of a woman finding you attractive wouldn't even cross your mind. I wish I could do that."

"Oh, is that a fact?" Jim turned to see Catherine near the point of sneering as she now sat with her arms folded across her chest.

"Don't get me wrong, I love women. The way they look. The way they smell. The way their hair does that flip over the shoulder thing if it's long enough. It's just they say one thing but usually mean something completely different. If my ex had said, 'Jim, I have some reservations about some of the things you do' instead of saying 'Everything's fine, honey' when I asked her what was wrong, I'm certain I'd still be married." The final drops from the glass cascaded into Brass' awaiting mouth before he placed the now empty glass on the table. "And I've just brought the conversation to a screeching halt."

After a moment of awkward silence, Grissom's voice finally chimed in. "Marriage's a funny thing." Both Jim and Catherine turned their attention to Grissom, Catherine about to question him. However, he didn't give her the opportunity. "You both state your personal vows that you were undoubtedly meticulous with the wording, so as to sound as profound to everyone listening as it did to you in your own mind. Then there's the promise to love, honor, obey and what have you. It's essentially a spoken contract that person A will spend the rest of his or her life with person B. And why? Because they supposedly love one another. So, what happens next? Person A either lets down person B or vice versa and the once happy union isn't. Instead, both parties begin to look for reasons not to be together anymore, no matter how inane the observation. And then, just like that, no marriage. Like it never happened. Life just keeps moving along, because it doesn't think your marriage is as important in the larger scheme of things like you do. Life just keeps moving." Grissom knocked back the rest of his scotch, looking at the ice in his glass instead of the two individuals at the table.

Brass furrowed his brow as he attempted to process Grissom's meaningful riposte, Catherine speaking, her voice in near silent awe. "You really did get burned, didn't you?"

Grissom gently placed the empty glass on the table, pushing it away with his knuckles as he turned his attention to Catherine. He smiled softly before rising from his chair. "Jim. Catherine. We should do this again sometime." Before either could speak, Grissom dug his hands into his jacket pockets and began to walk away, leaving Brass and Catherine at a loss for words.

* * *

Grissom wondered if he was slightly buzzed when he closed the car door behind him and began to walk toward his townhouse. It wasn't from the fact that he was having trouble walking down the brick inlayed path. He was doing fine in the motor skills department. What brought said question about was the fact that he could have sworn that Sara was sitting on the steps of his door as he pulled into the parking space. Luckily for Grissom, he wasn't inebriated. Sara was indeed sitting on his porch step. So, the only question left now was, why was she here?

Apparently, Sara finally heard him walking up the path, looking in his direction as she hugged her knees. Upon seeing Grissom walking toward her, she stood up from the slightly cold brick steps, dusting off her hands on the sides of her jeans before they found sanctuary in the pockets. She smiled awkwardly at Grissom, Grissom furrowing his brow out of curiosity more than anything else. "Hi."

"Sara?"

"Look, before you ask me why I'm here, let me just say my piece and then I'll leave you alone. Okay?" Grissom was about to object but instead nodded, the lines in his forehead receding back from whence they came. He now stood face to face with her, his posture nearly matching hers, his hands in the confines of his jacket pockets instead of his pants. Sara looked down, both wanting to collect her thoughts and to not look at Grissom. She needed to get this right. And looking at him right now wouldn't help matters any. After a moment of silence, she finally turned her attention to Grissom, her voice hushed; raspy. "I know about your dinner with Curtis."

"Sara…" His voice matched hers, a sigh escaping his lips as he spoke.

"Please. Just…just let me…" Why did he have to sound so apologetic? So wounded? She couldn't do this. She couldn't…

"Okay." Grissom could see that she needed to say whatever it was she had to say, so he obeyed.

Sara nodded slightly, realizing that he too was having trouble with this, maybe just about as much as she was right at this moment. Why did things have to be this way whenever they needed to voice their emotions to the other? Sara pushed the thought aside, resuming her clearly rehearsed speech. She'd gotten to iteration number four when Grissom made his presence known. "I get that you like her. She's smart. She's witty. She's even got your weird sense of humor. And, to be honest, I can see why she likes you too. But, just so we're clear on it, I totally set the trend for falling for smart, sexy entomologists before it became the thing to do." Sara groaned mentally at herself, wondering where exactly calling Grissom sexy was a good idea. Fortunately for her, Grissom eased the tension with an earnest smile and a soft chuckle. Sara reciprocated with a smile of her own before continuing. "Anyway, I'm not here to ask you why. Because, frankly, it's none of my business. I'm just here to say…" She couldn't say it.

Grissom stepped closer to her, his voice soft. Gentle. "What?"

Sara took a deep breath, her hands now balled up in her pockets. Just like a bandage, Sara thought to herself. Nice and quick and then you can walk away and never look back. She exhaled softly, her gaze falling into his. "I'm happy for you. You deserve to be happy. And, don't worry about me. I'm a big girl. I'm not going to say it's not going to be awkward to see the two of you together, but I'll get used to it. Just give me some time to adjust before you two start acting all couply in the lab, okay?"

Grissom examined Sara's countenance, trying to read her but discovering that whatever she was feeling in that moment, it was being well hidden by the smile now on her face. After a moment of silence, he interrupted the silence. "Can I speak now?"

Sara grinned somewhat, his question taking her completely by surprise. She had expected him to nod and just go inside. But wanting to speak? That was a new one for her. "Sure. I said what I needed to say. The floor's all yours."

Grissom paused for a moment, as though he was about to say something profound and insightful about Sara's speech. Unfortunately, nothing could have been further from the truth. "Couply? Really?"

Both looked at each other before the laughter set in, both chuckling heartily. Sara wiped a tear from the corner of her eye before regaining her composure. She turned back to face Grissom who was now looking at her. And very intently at that. "What? Do I have something on my face?" Sara began to move her palm across her face absentmindedly until she felt Grissom's hand on the side of her face. Her eyes moved slowly to his as her hand fell to the wayside. "What?" She hadn't noticed until now but the distance between them wasn't anymore, Grissom somehow closing the distance between them that his face was practically touching hers. His hand brushed back an errant strand of hair away from her face, Sara speaking, her voice faltering. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

Grissom's hand returned to the side of Sara's face, gently cupping her cheek. Before Sara realized what was happening, Grissom began to lean toward her, his lips gently falling on hers. At first it was the gentlest of touches, as though he was gauging her response. When she didn't pull away in shock, Grissom deepened the kiss. Upon feeling Sara respond in kind, Grissom's hand moved to her nape, feeling the hairs standing on the back of her neck. He gently pulled her closer to him, savoring the touch, the taste of the woman standing in front of him. Then, as quickly as it had begun, the moment was over as Sara abruptly pulled away, both panting heavily. "What…?"

"We can't do this."

"Sara." Grissom didn't realize how much he wanted this until he heard his voice, the desire evident.

Sara gently placed her hands on Grissom's chest, as though she was trying to push him away even though she wasn't. "I'm sorry, Grissom. But, I can't do this. Not now."

"What's wrong? I thought you…we…" Grissom could feel his heart rending in his chest as his mind stumbled for the right words.

Sara could see the confusion evident in Grissom's eyes, realizing that he was probably reading the situation as a rejection when she didn't mean it to be so. "No, you're right." She sighed, her voice gentle as she spoke. "Do you know how many times I've dreamt of this moment?" Grissom shook his head, still puzzled at the turn of events. "If things were different, I'd take you inside and finish what you started here, but…"

"But what?"

"I don't think I'm ready for this. I have some things to work through if we're really going to make this work. I'm afraid that if we jump into this right now, it'll be doomed from the start. And I don't want that. Not after everything we've been through. I need to be free and clear before I can devote myself to this. To us. Do you understand what I'm trying to say?"

Grissom nodded, understanding exactly what she was trying to say even without saying it. A small smile graced his lips as he spoke. "So, it's not because I'm a bad kisser then?"

Sara laughed softly, her fingers gently tracing the contours of his now swollen lips. "No, it's definitely not that. Definitely not that." Both shared a tender laugh before Sara spoke once more. "Are you okay with this?"

Grissom gently kissed the points of Sara's fingers, his hand now encircling hers. "Yeah, I'm okay." One final kiss on the inside of her wrist and Grissom released her, his hand finding solace inside his jacket pocket once more. "Want me to walk you back to your car?"

Sara shook her head, a serene smile on her face. "It's okay. I'm right around the corner. I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow then." Sara nodded, pausing for a moment as they continued to look at one another. Finally, she stepped to the side and walked past Grissom, toward the sidewalk. She was only a few feet away when she heard Grissom call out to her. "Sara?"

She turned around slowly, a perplexed look on her face. "Yeah?"

"You're not alone. You know that, right?"

The smile grew ever so slightly until it became pronounced to the point that Sara could literally feel her cheeks blushing in the cold night air. "I do now." Grissom nodded, Sara's smile rubbing off on him as he reciprocated in kind. "Good night, Grissom."

"Goodnight, Sara." And, with that, she disappeared into the night, Grissom still standing on the steps to his townhouse. His fingers gently touched his mouth as he found himself missing Sara's touch. He shook his head as he smiled to no one in particular, recollecting Catherine's final words to him.

"Not that burned, Catherine. Not that burned."

_Fin_


End file.
